My story

Hello, my name is Jill (also known as Jillian).

I am a physiotherapist who lives in Ontario, Canada.  I have a severe to profound sensorineural bilateral hearing loss (more detail about this can be found here).  I am "oral", which means I can speak and communicate verbally.  I am not fluent in sign language.

I do not have any human children, but do spoil my 2 furry babies!

Carson and Daisy

I was born in 1978, and was discovered to have a hearing loss by the age of 2 or 3.  Apparently, I was a very quiet, industrious child - but still had my silly moments!

Nobody really knows what caused me to lose my hearing.  Theories range from jaundice at birth, and/or to several falls onto my head (off a wagon, and while hanging upside down on monkey bars).  I don't really dwell on the "why", as what else can I do but deal with the hand that I have been given?  I may pursue genetic testing at some point, but this will serve no purpose other than to satisfy my curiosity.

Both my parents are hearing impaired: my Mom from being hit in the head with a baseball bat, and my Dad from childhood German measles / mumps.  There is absolutely no family history on my Mom's side, whereas on my Dad's side, my Aunt and Uncle wear hearing aids.  I have two sisters, a nephew, and many cousins - all have normal hearing.

Me, my 2 sisters, Mom and Dad.  I'm the one looking off to my left...no idea why.

Those in charge at the local school board immediately wanted to ship me off to a boarding school for the deaf.  However, my Mom and Nana adamantly refused, and insisted that I be given a chance to thrive in "mainstream" (regular) school.

And thrive I did!  My experience at Pleasant Valley School was such a success, that they brought in hearing impaired children from all over the city.

I did have some accommodations:

• I had to wear a FM system, which I hated. It was a big clunky ugly thing that I had to attach to my belt and hearing aid.  The teacher had to wear a matching system, but with a microphone.  It would constantly fall off and cause me embarrassment.  Plus, it would pick up random noises, like the teacher spitting and the fluorescent lights buzzing.
• The "teachers assistant" (TA) would take notes for me, and help me figure things out if I asked or looked a bit lost.
• I was excused from being tested in verbal French.  It was hard enough to lip read in English, let alone in French.  I did have to learn written French.

I still remember my teachers assistants: Mrs. Chisholm (pictured below), Mrs. Beel and Mrs. Wilson.  They were very special and so integral to my early learning.  I was so lucky.  After about Grade 1o or 11, I mainly relied on my wonderful friends to provide me with their notes from class, or I taught myself from textbooks.

Class picture: Grade 3 at Pleasant Valley School.  I am seated on the far left, first row.
Mrs. Chisholm (teacher's aide) is standing on the left.  Mrs. Tilbury (teacher) is standing on the right.

I continued on to attend Dundas District (grade 7/8), Parkside High School, University of Guelph (Bio-Medical Sciences major), and finally McMaster University (Masters in Physiotherapy).

I have worked for 8 years as a physiotherapist in a hospital, in the complex care unit (slower paced rehabilitation).  I occasionally cover weekends on the acute surgical floor (post operative total joint replacements, fractures etc.).

I love my job, although it poses a tremendous challenge for someone with a hearing loss.  95% of my day involves verbal communication with patients, family members and coworkers - individually and in groups.  Many of the patients I work with have dementia, mental health issues, aphasia, or/and an accent, which increases the challenge exponentially.  Luckily, I work with an absolutely fantastic, supportive group of people who are able and willing to help me out as needed.

I have scraped by in life by working very hard, using powerful Phonak hearing aids, utilizing stellar lip reading skills and relying on supportive family, friends and coworkers.  I will not lie and say that it is or was easy.

There are few things that are more isolating, more frustrating, or more tiring than being deaf.  For the last few years, I have had migraines at the end of the day from constantly straining to hear and understand.  As I get more tired, it becomes more difficult to lip read and attempt to decipher what someone is saying, which causes more frustration, which creates a mental block.  A vicious cycle.  Most of the time, all I want to do at the end of the work day is go home, collapse and read or do something that doesn't involve talking to someone in person.  

In 2010, when I experienced a further deterioration in my hearing, I was really struggling to get through the day.  I was at the end of my rope.  After a detailed hearing test and checking out my hearing aids, Jane (my audiologist) said that it wasn't my hearing aids that were malfunctioning ... it was my ears.  I had finally reached rock bottom - literally, on my audiogram and in terms my ability to compensate for it.  I sat there and cried because there was nothing more to be done, as I had maxed out the most powerful hearing aids on the market.

Jane then suggested that I seriously consider being evaluated for a cochlear implant.  My initial reaction was shock and skeptism.  Surgery?  Losing my residual hearing (even the little I had left)?  Never being able to wear hearing aids again?  Taking a risk?  I am the world's most indecisive person.  I am known for buying things and returning them right afterwards.  With a cochlear implant - there is no returning it.  There is no going back.  A final sale.

But as I did my research, read blogs that shared amazing success stories, and contacted people who had nothing but positive experiences, I became more and more convinced that perhaps this was the answer to all of my frustrations.

In 2010, I downloaded the physician referral form for the Sunnybrook Cochlear Implant Program, and got the ball rolling.

With encouragement, I have decided to document my experiences via this blog, which will also provide opportunity to educate about hearing loss and cochlear implants.  So many people are very excited for me, and have been so supportive.  My greatest fear is that they will be disappointed if it doesn't meet expectations, at least right away.  In some ways, I think it will be a greater let down for them then it would be for me.  I have done quite a bit of research and understand the reality of the potential outcomes.

This blog tells my story from 2010 to present.  I hope you enjoy it, or at least find it educational.